I was going to write a blog about thanks..and things im grateful for. I was going to write something about how even when things are hard, and even when things seem unbearable, it's always lovely to know it will get better, to know you will survive, and come out on the other side better for having gone through it. I was going to write about how rocky the past month or so has been..but that no matter what I always know deep down I'm not doing it alone. I have up days, and I have down days. I feel alone alot. I feel tired alot. I feel frustrated alot. Then sometimes I'm just ok. Even some days I'm great. Remember the year of Rate your day? And how I was always a 10? Perhaps I was naive, perhaps I was just optimistic. But I'm really in the trenches right now. With life. and love. I'm trying my best, that's all I can do. I'm taking deep breaths. I'm missing a whole bunch of bodies. I'm enjoying some new ones. I'm learning about myself. I'm learning about other people. I'm being humbled.
I am counting the days until a little escape to this magic cabin. a retreat? perhaps. all i know is there are only 18 days standing between me and that fireplace.
praying for peace. for a calm heart, and a relaxed mind. one day at a time..